FIC: Not Like Herself [Samurai Warriors – Kai / Lady Hayakawa (All Ages)]

[samuraiter]

Title: Not Like Herself
Fandom: Samurai Warriors Series
Pairing: Kai / Lady Hayakawa
Rating: All Ages
Prompt: 041 – Interrupt
Word Count: 990
Summary: SW4. Kai is normally not shy around her best friend, but —

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Kai had a red face, but she did not open her mouth. Instead, she continued to sit in her place at the table, fidgeting, not touching the bowl of rice in front of her. She had not been herself all day, and she had been doing a poor job of keeping her discomfort to herself. No surprise, then, that Ujiyasu removed his pipe from his mouth and raised a brow at her. She did not notice, so he sighed, set down his pipe, and said, his voice loud enough to make everybody else at the table immediately stop talking:

"If you're going to be that distracted, boy, don't go wasting perfectly good food. Get up and go do something else so I can take it and give it to one of the others."

And Kai sat there for a second, her mouth hanging open until she remembered her situation and said, her face going from a light red to more of a full crimson, "Yes, my Lord. Forgive me, my Lord." And she disappeared at a speed that might have been more appropriate to a certain Takeda kunoichi she occasionally encountered.

Lady Hayakawa looked to her father, and he replied, shaking his head, "Well, at least you've cleaned your plate. Go see what's eating her. I don't want her being like this all month." She rose and bowed once to him before departing, and he added, taking a long pull from his pipe, "If it's what I think it is, then they've needed to have this talk for a long time, anyway. Might as well go ahead and get it out of the way while they're young."

Kai leaned on the balcony, grimacing at the horizon as Lady Hayakawa walked up behind her. Normally, she had a strong awareness of her surroundings, but she did not realize her best friend had arrived until she placed her hands on her bare shoulders, saying, "You will catch cold if you brood outside, Kai. Are you going to talk to me, or do I need to leave you alone for a little while?" Most people who talked to Kai had to fear her temper, and for good reason, but Lady Hayakawa never had that concern.

"I'm going to have to handle this, or it's never going to go away," Kai grumbled, more to herself than to the young woman next to her, though she then turned and asked, her eyes intense, "My Lady, what am I to you? And don't try mincing words with me."

Lady Hayakawa blinked. It seemed like a strange question to ask. "I consider you not only my best friend, but also the equal of any of my sisters. You belong to my family." Her turn to ask a question. "I thought you had already realized that, Kai. Has anything happened to change your opinion?" It hurt her to suspect that Kai might have considered turning her back not only on the Hōjō family, but on her.

"No, I'm still absolutely loyal to the Hōjō, but –" Kai sighed. "– a sister. What if –" She hesitated, fidgeting again. "– what if I told you that wasn't enough for me?"

Another strange question, and Lady Hayakawa replied, "I am not sure what you mean, Kai. No one is closer to me than you are. What more is there than that?"

"You're going to marry into the Imagawa family soon," Kai said, "or that's what my Lord tells me, but –" Her face flushed, full of anger. "– I don't want that for you. I've met Ujizane. He's a wet-nosed fool, and he won't treat you the way you deserve." She averted her eyes. "I'm being selfish, I know. Just let me be selfish."

"There is nothing selfish about having reservations, Kai," Lady Hayakawa said. "Believe me, I have reservations about a political marriage, too. There are things that –" She paused to clear her throat. "– but no matter. This is not about me. I am worried about you." And she took Kai by the hands, waiting for her to look her in the face again.

Kai had to take a deep breath before she looked up at her best friend again, saying, "I don't want the Imagawa family to take you away from me. I don't want you to marry Ujizane. I want you to be mine and no one else's!" She turned red. "That's what's selfish. I want something that I don't even have a right to have." Lady Hayakawa could feel her hands shaking. "I've ... said too much. You should probably go."

"I am not going to do that," Lady Hayakawa replied. "You are saying ... that you love me?" Kai nodded slowly. "Of course, I love you, too, but I had no idea your love was –" She searched for words. "– like that. I should have been more attentive if you have been suffering this inside yourself for so long." Kai had her eyes averted again. "Look at me, Kai." She did. "I will promise you this: I will always belong to you first, no matter what I have to do for the sake of my family. That will never change." A lump in her throat. "So I am going to ask you to be the one to take my first kiss."

"My Lady, I –" Kai hesitated again, but she swallowed her doubts. "– yes." She had to tilt her head downwards, due to the difference in height between them, but she still managed to get their lips to meet, and there was a long moment of silence between them as they held that kiss. When Kai finally broke it, she murmured, "I don't know how I'm going to explain this to my Lord. Maybe it's better if I don't say anything."

"Do not worry about him," Lady Hayakawa said, "worry only about me." And their lips met again. And again.

END.