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femslashficlets2018-01-01 09:10 pm
samuraiter) wrote in femslashficlets2018-01-01 09:10 pm
Entry tags:
FIC: Motionless [Fate Series – Arturia / Irisviel (All Ages)]
Title: Motionless
Fandom: Fate Series (Fate / Zero)
Pairing: Arturia Pendragon (Saber) / Irisviel von Einzbern
Rating: All Ages
Prompt: 139 – Resolution
Word Count: 880
Summary: Arturia and Irisviel have a heart-to-heart conversation.
* * * *
Notes: The Fate franchise is a labyrinth of overlapping continuities, repurposed characters, and multiple media that can be extremely difficult to sort. I highly recommend tagging anything from it as 'Fate Series' to reduce confusion.
* * * *
Irisviel lay inside the circle that Kiritsugu had etched into the floor for her, staring up at the ceiling, able to move her eyes, but unable to move any of her extremities. The end of her life as a human – or, at least, a human-like being – approached, and her feelings about that wavered from acceptance to fear and back, crossing all of the different shades that separated them until it left her feeling almost numb in her heart.
Numb until Arturia – Saber, but Arturia to her – came to visit her, that is.
"I cannot imagine this level of conviction," the King of Knights admitted to her, dropping to her knees next to her. "To die in battle for the sake of what one believes is one thing, but –" Concern filled her green eyes. "– dying like this, a little at a time, wasting until your body is almost dust, is another thing entirely. Do you believe in this so strongly?"
"I do," Irisviel replied, still able to speak if she focused her efforts upon forming words, "and I won't become dust. I'll become ... more. And yet less, too." She paused, blinking her eyes and taking a breath. "It's very difficult for me to put it into words."
Arturia nodded, letting silence pass between them for a little while before she asked, "If you could, would you do it all differently, Iri? If you could start over from the beginning?"
Irisviel thought about it for a moment before she answered, "I honestly don't know. Everything that I am, my entire existence, it's all been filled up with someone else's ideals. If you emptied all of that out of me, I don't know what'd be left behind. That's ... scarier than dying, when I think about it. Would I still be me, or would I just be the same doll that Kiritsugu found – my body, my face, but nothing at all on the inside?"
Arturia averted her eyes as she said, "Then we're really not as different as all that, are we? I try to imagine myself as a normal girl, living when I did, and I ... can't. I want to, I wish to, but I just can't. There's just been so much that's happened, I can't picture being anything other than the King, even if there's a part of me that desperately wants that."
Irisviel replied, trying to smile, not succeeding, "I wouldn't have met you, then. And I think that'd be a terrible loss. Don't you?" To that, Arturia nodded. "Both of us are only here for such a short period of time, aren't we? Do you feel it was ... worth it?"
"If you mean knowing you," Arturia said, looking back at her, "then yes, it was. In this time, this place, there aren't really kings, queens, or anything like that, just mud, blood, and chaos, but –" Her voice softened. "– you've been the closest person to a queen that I've seen since I've been here. If I were a normal girl, I'd look up to you. You'd be all that I could wish to be." A sigh, full of regrets. "But I'm King, and, to me, you're one more person for whom I can't be the salvation that you need. That's all there is to that."
"You don't ... have to save me, Arturia," Irisviel said. "It's enough for me that you knew me as a person. You didn't get to see me before, when I was only a doll, and you won't see me when I'm inside the Grail. You've seen me as Irisviel, and, really, that's enough." She closed her eyes and took another deep breath. "I'm at peace with that. I'm resolved to see this through to the end, and I take comfort from having known you."
"Is it foolish, then, to love you?" The question came as a surprise, though Irisviel no longer had the physical ability to express the full extent of that emotion.
"I don't think it's foolish," she answered, "and neither do you." Arturia had tears in her eyes, unshed. "But I wish you'd told me ... just a little sooner. Here, like this –" Her lips trembled, if only a little. "– I can't hug you, can't touch your cheek, can't give you a kiss and tell you everything will be all right. I would've liked to do those things with you, even if you're not the one I married. Even if I'm not really human, I've got enough love to share –" Her voice cracked. "– so much to share! But never enough time."
"It's bitter," Arturia said, "this taste of knowing, but I'm still glad that I told you."
"Arturia. My Saber." The King looked down at her. "Hold my hand. Please. Just for a little while. Even if I can't feel your fingers, just ... hold my hand. That will be enough."
And Arturia did. For a long time, they sat together in a warm silence.
"Of all the cruelties of this war," Arturia said at the end of it, "this is one of the worst."
"Not for very much longer," Irisviel whispered, looking up at the ceiling again, imagining that she could look beyond it and see answers to all of her unspoken questions.
END.
Fandom: Fate Series (Fate / Zero)
Pairing: Arturia Pendragon (Saber) / Irisviel von Einzbern
Rating: All Ages
Prompt: 139 – Resolution
Word Count: 880
Summary: Arturia and Irisviel have a heart-to-heart conversation.
* * * *
Notes: The Fate franchise is a labyrinth of overlapping continuities, repurposed characters, and multiple media that can be extremely difficult to sort. I highly recommend tagging anything from it as 'Fate Series' to reduce confusion.
* * * *
Irisviel lay inside the circle that Kiritsugu had etched into the floor for her, staring up at the ceiling, able to move her eyes, but unable to move any of her extremities. The end of her life as a human – or, at least, a human-like being – approached, and her feelings about that wavered from acceptance to fear and back, crossing all of the different shades that separated them until it left her feeling almost numb in her heart.
Numb until Arturia – Saber, but Arturia to her – came to visit her, that is.
"I cannot imagine this level of conviction," the King of Knights admitted to her, dropping to her knees next to her. "To die in battle for the sake of what one believes is one thing, but –" Concern filled her green eyes. "– dying like this, a little at a time, wasting until your body is almost dust, is another thing entirely. Do you believe in this so strongly?"
"I do," Irisviel replied, still able to speak if she focused her efforts upon forming words, "and I won't become dust. I'll become ... more. And yet less, too." She paused, blinking her eyes and taking a breath. "It's very difficult for me to put it into words."
Arturia nodded, letting silence pass between them for a little while before she asked, "If you could, would you do it all differently, Iri? If you could start over from the beginning?"
Irisviel thought about it for a moment before she answered, "I honestly don't know. Everything that I am, my entire existence, it's all been filled up with someone else's ideals. If you emptied all of that out of me, I don't know what'd be left behind. That's ... scarier than dying, when I think about it. Would I still be me, or would I just be the same doll that Kiritsugu found – my body, my face, but nothing at all on the inside?"
Arturia averted her eyes as she said, "Then we're really not as different as all that, are we? I try to imagine myself as a normal girl, living when I did, and I ... can't. I want to, I wish to, but I just can't. There's just been so much that's happened, I can't picture being anything other than the King, even if there's a part of me that desperately wants that."
Irisviel replied, trying to smile, not succeeding, "I wouldn't have met you, then. And I think that'd be a terrible loss. Don't you?" To that, Arturia nodded. "Both of us are only here for such a short period of time, aren't we? Do you feel it was ... worth it?"
"If you mean knowing you," Arturia said, looking back at her, "then yes, it was. In this time, this place, there aren't really kings, queens, or anything like that, just mud, blood, and chaos, but –" Her voice softened. "– you've been the closest person to a queen that I've seen since I've been here. If I were a normal girl, I'd look up to you. You'd be all that I could wish to be." A sigh, full of regrets. "But I'm King, and, to me, you're one more person for whom I can't be the salvation that you need. That's all there is to that."
"You don't ... have to save me, Arturia," Irisviel said. "It's enough for me that you knew me as a person. You didn't get to see me before, when I was only a doll, and you won't see me when I'm inside the Grail. You've seen me as Irisviel, and, really, that's enough." She closed her eyes and took another deep breath. "I'm at peace with that. I'm resolved to see this through to the end, and I take comfort from having known you."
"Is it foolish, then, to love you?" The question came as a surprise, though Irisviel no longer had the physical ability to express the full extent of that emotion.
"I don't think it's foolish," she answered, "and neither do you." Arturia had tears in her eyes, unshed. "But I wish you'd told me ... just a little sooner. Here, like this –" Her lips trembled, if only a little. "– I can't hug you, can't touch your cheek, can't give you a kiss and tell you everything will be all right. I would've liked to do those things with you, even if you're not the one I married. Even if I'm not really human, I've got enough love to share –" Her voice cracked. "– so much to share! But never enough time."
"It's bitter," Arturia said, "this taste of knowing, but I'm still glad that I told you."
"Arturia. My Saber." The King looked down at her. "Hold my hand. Please. Just for a little while. Even if I can't feel your fingers, just ... hold my hand. That will be enough."
And Arturia did. For a long time, they sat together in a warm silence.
"Of all the cruelties of this war," Arturia said at the end of it, "this is one of the worst."
"Not for very much longer," Irisviel whispered, looking up at the ceiling again, imagining that she could look beyond it and see answers to all of her unspoken questions.
END.