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femslashficlets2016-09-12 09:05 pm
samuraiter) wrote in femslashficlets2016-09-12 09:05 pm
FIC: Black Noise [Devil Survivor – Yuzu / Haru (Mature)]
Title: Black Noise
Fandom: Devil Survivor
Pairing: Haru / Yuzu
Rating: Mature
Prompt: Sappho – 04 – ... for those
Word Count: 800
Summary: Yuzu tries to help Haru past the things that haunt her.
* Note: Please be advised that this story contains mentions of self-harm. Also note that these events can occur after any of the non-Haru good endings to the original game.
* * * *
Life did not seem as different as one might have expected after the Apocalypse. Rain continued to drum upon the windows like countless fingertips. Traffic continued its endless white noise – black noise, perhaps, black for the asphalt it ground down beneath its tires. Humanity seemed to be content to follow the same patterns it had been following since before the event. Did the people outside the apartment have any idea that their lives had been fundamentally changed? Or had the darkness that had engulfed Tokyo disappear from their consciousness like any other news story?
I don't feel any different, Haru thought, staring up at her ceiling in the dimness of the early morning, arms crossed behind her head. I've seen things nobody could believe, but, deep down, I still feel like me. She sniffed. Maybe that's a good thing? A warm body stirred next to her. Or not. If I'm still the me I was before, what good am I? That's not the Haru she needs, is it? The question drifted into nothingness, unanswered.
"Hey," Yuzu said, still half-asleep, hair still mussed from the night before, "don't tell me you've been awake all this time." Still worrying like the mother hen she was too young to be. "You're –" She paused to yawn. "– not going to get any better unless you rest."
"You say that like I'm sick," Haru replied, bending down to kiss her on the forehead. "I'm not sick. I've just ... got a lot to think about." Like you, even though I know the last thing I need to do is get really invested in another person before I'm done putting myself back together. "You know how that is, Yuzu. You've had some nights like that, too." When I bother to let you sleep, that is. Because Haru had a way of keeping Yuzu up at night.
It had been like that from the beginning. After everything that had happened in Tokyo, Yuzu had asked Haru if the two of them could meet up again. They did, and Yuzu had asked her, then, if they could date. They did. And Haru had not waited for Yuzu to ask if she they could go to bed together. That question, she asked on her own. And Yuzu had accepted. Since then, they had been more or less inseparable, and their lives had grown into each other. Granted, they disagreed, they fought, but they always made certain to patch things up. After all, what was all that compared to the Apocalypse?
It's usually my fault, anyway, Haru thought, trying to ignore the fact that Yuzu was studying her face intently despite the low light in the room, even when it's not. But that's all right. She smiled down at Yuzu – a tired smile, but a smile, nonetheless.
"I'll take care of you if you let me," Yuzu said, quietly, "but you have to take care of yourself, too." She took a deep breath – Haru had learned that she always did that before she said things she did not want to say. "I know that some of these scars along your ribs –" She touched the area she meant. "– aren't from the Tokyo lockdown. They're new. Why are you still hurting yourself, even now, when it's all over?"
"Because it is all over," Haru said, more sad than angry, "but I don't feel like anything's changed. In me, I mean." Another smile for Yuzu. "You're in my life, now, and that's wonderful, but I'm still the same old Haru, and I haven't really figured out what that means, nowadays, so –" She looked away from her. "– be patient with me. I'm still working through it all, and I'm not there yet." She turned back, reaching out to Yuzu, to touch her cheek, smooth her hair. "Live for yourself, not for me. It'll just wear you out."
"You won't be able to shut me out forever," Yuzu replied. Haru kissed her, and that lingered for a long moment before she added, "And all the sex in the world won't make it all go away, either. I'm here for you, no matter how you need me, just –" She sighed. "Just hold me for now, okay? Maybe it'll make you feel better. It makes me feel better."
Haru held on to Yuzu, and the noises outside the apartment continued as they had before. I'm sure you'd think this is funny, Aya. Maybe it is. She stared up at the ceiling again. I just wish you were here to tell me that it's funny. All this noise, and it's still dead silent without you in the middle of it. The rain intensified. That's what hasn't changed.
A car honked its horn, and the world continued as it had, seemingly indifferent.
END.
Fandom: Devil Survivor
Pairing: Haru / Yuzu
Rating: Mature
Prompt: Sappho – 04 – ... for those
Word Count: 800
Summary: Yuzu tries to help Haru past the things that haunt her.
* Note: Please be advised that this story contains mentions of self-harm. Also note that these events can occur after any of the non-Haru good endings to the original game.
* * * *
Life did not seem as different as one might have expected after the Apocalypse. Rain continued to drum upon the windows like countless fingertips. Traffic continued its endless white noise – black noise, perhaps, black for the asphalt it ground down beneath its tires. Humanity seemed to be content to follow the same patterns it had been following since before the event. Did the people outside the apartment have any idea that their lives had been fundamentally changed? Or had the darkness that had engulfed Tokyo disappear from their consciousness like any other news story?
I don't feel any different, Haru thought, staring up at her ceiling in the dimness of the early morning, arms crossed behind her head. I've seen things nobody could believe, but, deep down, I still feel like me. She sniffed. Maybe that's a good thing? A warm body stirred next to her. Or not. If I'm still the me I was before, what good am I? That's not the Haru she needs, is it? The question drifted into nothingness, unanswered.
"Hey," Yuzu said, still half-asleep, hair still mussed from the night before, "don't tell me you've been awake all this time." Still worrying like the mother hen she was too young to be. "You're –" She paused to yawn. "– not going to get any better unless you rest."
"You say that like I'm sick," Haru replied, bending down to kiss her on the forehead. "I'm not sick. I've just ... got a lot to think about." Like you, even though I know the last thing I need to do is get really invested in another person before I'm done putting myself back together. "You know how that is, Yuzu. You've had some nights like that, too." When I bother to let you sleep, that is. Because Haru had a way of keeping Yuzu up at night.
It had been like that from the beginning. After everything that had happened in Tokyo, Yuzu had asked Haru if the two of them could meet up again. They did, and Yuzu had asked her, then, if they could date. They did. And Haru had not waited for Yuzu to ask if she they could go to bed together. That question, she asked on her own. And Yuzu had accepted. Since then, they had been more or less inseparable, and their lives had grown into each other. Granted, they disagreed, they fought, but they always made certain to patch things up. After all, what was all that compared to the Apocalypse?
It's usually my fault, anyway, Haru thought, trying to ignore the fact that Yuzu was studying her face intently despite the low light in the room, even when it's not. But that's all right. She smiled down at Yuzu – a tired smile, but a smile, nonetheless.
"I'll take care of you if you let me," Yuzu said, quietly, "but you have to take care of yourself, too." She took a deep breath – Haru had learned that she always did that before she said things she did not want to say. "I know that some of these scars along your ribs –" She touched the area she meant. "– aren't from the Tokyo lockdown. They're new. Why are you still hurting yourself, even now, when it's all over?"
"Because it is all over," Haru said, more sad than angry, "but I don't feel like anything's changed. In me, I mean." Another smile for Yuzu. "You're in my life, now, and that's wonderful, but I'm still the same old Haru, and I haven't really figured out what that means, nowadays, so –" She looked away from her. "– be patient with me. I'm still working through it all, and I'm not there yet." She turned back, reaching out to Yuzu, to touch her cheek, smooth her hair. "Live for yourself, not for me. It'll just wear you out."
"You won't be able to shut me out forever," Yuzu replied. Haru kissed her, and that lingered for a long moment before she added, "And all the sex in the world won't make it all go away, either. I'm here for you, no matter how you need me, just –" She sighed. "Just hold me for now, okay? Maybe it'll make you feel better. It makes me feel better."
Haru held on to Yuzu, and the noises outside the apartment continued as they had before. I'm sure you'd think this is funny, Aya. Maybe it is. She stared up at the ceiling again. I just wish you were here to tell me that it's funny. All this noise, and it's still dead silent without you in the middle of it. The rain intensified. That's what hasn't changed.
A car honked its horn, and the world continued as it had, seemingly indifferent.
END.